My mood already kacau pagi tadi, when faced with people yang suka mengungkit. She made me like im the selfish person ever. Its okay. I feel like to story everything here but i dont remember anything at all. Even if i want to recall those moments, i cant.. i really cant remember.
Tonight, i thought i cant relax my mind. At the kitchen, im with angah and ibu. I want to story something that keep bermain-main in my mind, which is about my lappy's bag. Its been so long, since first sem degree i want to buy a new lappy's bag. Next week, dah nak pergi Kelantan jumpa supervisor, and i need to bring my lappy. I just want to story about beg apa yang sesuai nak bawa. Thats it. But my dad suddenly interrupt and thought that i bercerita about something else ( which is dia salah faham). Tak pasal-pasal je aku kena marah. i explained to him, we discuss about lappy's bag and he still getting angry, and say i ni x sabar-sabar nak beli.
What? Like seriously? I just want to share something yang asyik terfikir-fikir dalam minda. Bukan nak gesa sesiapa untuk cari jalan penyelesaian. Allahu. Kali kedua menangis hari ni. Tak larat dah. Looks like aku memang x boleh story apa-apa lah sepanjang duduk rumah. Meluah rasa pun tak boleh la, sebab nanti orang ingat aku ni nak solusi dan penyelesaian segera.
I know, i lived far away from home since 13 years old, and im pretty sure mereka tidak kenal aku sebenarnya. What kind of personality that i have and so on. What they know only a few of them, not all.
Oh Allah.. What should i do? After this, should i seeking job and live far away from my family? I really cannot endure all this. My adik and angah dah biasa but im certainly not. Please Allah, help me to calm down. Im so tired of crying all day. Im too tired. There is a lot of work that not done yet, but i cannot thinking of anything right now. Im too stress, to depress. Help me Allah. Allahuakhbar.
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